Static Electricity - ZAP!

It's that stuff that makes a spark when you touch something or someone in the winter.  Another thing static electricity does is make your clothing hug (cling to) you or your hair stand on end after you remove your winter hat.

Science says that static electricity is "the imbalance of positive and negative charges."  Booorrrring answer.  I believe that it's actually caused by baby lightning.  Think about it.  Static is mostly annoying, but not really deadly (in most cases) just like little children.  Children play at grownup games and practice what they will some day do for real; they also like to have fun and play funny tricks on others.  Seems just like what static electricity does, doesn't it!  I mean how funny is it when your hair stands up on end or you find a sock stuck to your shirt or a small piece of plastic just will not leave your fingers!   Not really harmful, unless you're an electronic gadget like a computer!


Now grown up lightning is another story! Science tells us that "it is caused by a giant 'spark' which results when liquid and ice particles above the freezing level collide, and build up large electrical fields in clouds."  Come on now!  That doesn't make sense. . . I mean the temperature inside a lightning bolt can reach 50,000 degrees F, which is hotter than the surface of the sun, for heaven's sake!  How could something that comes from "ice particles" get that hot?  Not gonna happen. 

Lightning is the result of all the banked rage in the world.  Yes folks; when you hold on to your anger and "bank" it instead of blowing your top or losing your temper it builds up in accounts in cloudbanks,
joining all the rest of the unvented anger from that area of the world.  When they have enough energy banked together, they plan an attack, send down a bolt of lightning, and laugh it up with a boom (we call it thunder).  Now doesn't that make a lot better sense than saying that electrons (none of whom have ever been seen) move from one place to another?  Really, the things people think up.

So what's the answer?  Next time you get angry, let it out in constructive ways; pick a fight with a drug pusher (who's smaller than you) and beat the heck out of him; tell the next person who is rude to you what you really think of them; if someone takes the parking place you were waiting for, follow them into the store and when they're not looking put some expensive or embarrassing things in their cart.  As for other peoples anger - if they're holding back, spray Static Guard around the area to kill the baby lightning before it grows up.